A Black and White World

It has been snowing, finally.

Two storms have turned the world into a canvas of greys and whites over deep greens and blues and purples. The colors of winter storms sing in minor keys. Muted and unobtrusive the landscape bows to the inevitable.

I know that these days are not forever, that behind the layers of clouds and winds and storms the sun is shining as she always does. I know the bluebird days of winter will be here, maybe even tomorrow, but for now it feels quiet and peaceful, a land at rest.

It is no wonder that Holiday Cards often depict these days. The lovely little vignette of the cabin in the snow tucked into towering pines takes on a peaceful sense of quiet serenity without the sharp shadows and contrast of full sun. The soft skies of greys and slate blues hovering just above me create a smaller, less expansive, almost cozy world. The harsh realities of school shootings, fiscal cliffs, and atrocities inflicted by rebels and governments alike temporarily recede and I am overwhelmed by a strong desire to focus on my immediate surroundings. The world news on radio and TV fades into the distance and this space I live in begs for my attention.

This “nesting” urge is badly needed. My home is awash in the final remnants from two storage units as I continue to work on downsizing to what I truly need. It is time to focus all my creative urges on the space I live in, the only space I have for my own renewal. I am focusing my decisions and energy on enhancing my spirit rather than draining my power. The core spaces need my love and attention and creativity. Meditation for my spiritual core, functional exercise for my physical core, and creative energy for my core surroundings.

This focus will, by no means be perfect. As always there are things that are beyond my ability to change right now. These will need creative solutions to minimize the negative impact they have on my life. First and foremost among them is the other soul that occupies this space with me. I must learn to dampen my caretaker impulses and take back my time for myself. Too long have I succumbed to the needs of a high maintenance personality. It has been, whether I want to admit it or not, my choice to shift my focus away from the things that I need, focusing my energies onĀ  catering to the whims of someone else. In doing so I have created the expectation of constant availability and encouraged the demands. It is, therefore my responsibility to reclaim my space and time. Learning how to this in a loving and respectful way will be my challenge. Although the arrangements are temporary, it will not do to just ignore a bad situation or to create tension or an intolerable situation for the remaining months of the lease. I must expand my creativity….must take it into my relationship with this person and learn to do it gracefully and graciously.

This, then, is my Holiday wish list.